Nashville had its craziest snowpocalypse in many years last week. Needless to say, the snow came in volumes much to the surprise of many Nashville residents, including myself who did not make packing snow boots for college a priority. Gearing up to go outside in the beautiful, white-covered ground for the first time, I looked in my closet and picked out the only shoes somewhat made for the weather: bright yellow, knee-high Hunter boots. I am not lying when I say they are the closest thing to a somewhat fashionably-accepted version of sweet ole’ Curious George boots (the picture does not even do them justice). However, I just got a little strategic with my outfit to coordinate and went about my Monday, starting the week on the “bright” foot. At that point, while I thought I was simply stepping into another week, it soon became apparent that it would be one of the most trying weeks I have had in quite a bit.
This semester, in my complete honesty, has been more lonely than last, which is wild to me considering I knew no one coming here to Vanderbilt last fall. After moving into a new room without the new excited nerves of starting college and getting into the swing of a month here, I learned that my heart longs for the comfort of home any time I get a free moment to reflect, which is more often this semester. A dorm room can amplify these feelings when you spend quite a lot time working and sitting by yourself. God has blessed me with the most amazing people here, and I still pinch myself that I get to live in Nashville and go to school here. Also, I am just grateful for the space and margin to pray and reflect more intentionally and less hurried this semester, something for which I praise Jesus. Therefore, please do not miss me saying that this season, I know, is a blessing through which He is working. I can say this with confidence because He has been so faithful in showing up in the littlest of details in a way so characteristic of His loving nature. The obnoxiously bright yellow boots comes to play in precisely this thought. From starting the week with tears of missing home on Monday to Thursday getting a call that my best friend and family dog of 16 years had gone to Heaven, the yellow boots stayed on my feet. They were the physical vessels that allowed me to keep trekking. I think God had me wear these boots all week as a greater symbol of the intangible and indescribable peace and joy that comes from faith in Him, the kind of peace and joy that you can stomp on, trek with, and try to fling off yet relentlessly stays with you. Last week was the first week I have felt angry at God in a long time; I felt angry that He felt so distant when I needed Him so close. Now being a week out from this time and having the space to reflect upon last week without tears and confusion, I am thankful for the yellow boots because I am even more thankful for what they reveal to me: “the peace that surpasses all understanding” and “the joy of the Lord [that is our] strength” (Philippians 4:6 and Nehemiah 8:10). Through the yellow boots and the texts and calls of people I love and the little joys like sunshine after many cloudy days last week, God was reminding me of His faithfulness, peace, and joy even when I could not see or feel it. I am not sure what season you find yourself in this week or today or even this minute, but if there is anything I learned from last week, it was this: we all need yellow boots.
Okay, so maybe you do not actually go buy yourself Curious George books (unless you want to because it would be fun to match). What you might need to get in place however is tangible reminders of God’s faithfulness. There will inevitably come seasons when it will be easy to feel like He is not near; unfortunately, that is life in our broken world. However, what does not have to be part of life, yet so many believe it to be so, is thinking that these seasons have to swallow us whole. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 reminds us that precisely because of Jesus’ finished work on the Cross, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” We are reminded by His mercy that while we might feel hard pressed and perplexed and persecuted and struck down, we are not crushed nor in despair nor abandoned nor destroyed because of the saving love and protection of the Creator of the Universe. The tangible reminders, the daily practices we have in place are spaces for God’s faithfulness to come in full as reminders that He is near even when He feels like He is hanging out on Mars. For me, these reminders are daily times journalling and reading His word or random things like the “something to smile about” challenge I am doing on my yoga page this month or the small choices to seek Him whether that be in a moments of prayer or a FaceTime call with one of my people. Today, I am thankful for the yellow boots. I am thankful He had me wear them all week, and I am even more thankful to praise a God who is relentless in His pursuit of our hearts, on the days where life feels like rainbows and butterflies and on the days where even a smile feels forced and inauthentic. I am thankful for His faithfulness even when He feels far. I am thankful for His gift of little reminders of His goodness, the kind that are so loud and bright that they cannot be ignored if we have even the slightest open hearts towards them. Praise Him.
With love, C