November 4, 2018
Busyness often controls me. You would think I’d have learned by now, but I haven’t. It seems like I write about busyness far too often. However, I have reflected about this topic over the past few weeks quite often, and I have gained a bit of a new perspective on it. You see, life right now is just crazy busy for me. Let me preface by saying that I keep myself very busy on purpose. When I am busy, I feel productive and useful. When I am not, I feel like I am missing out on opportunities and moments that I could otherwise gain if I were doing things. Therefore, it is quite rare for me to sleep in or let alone have a lazy day anymore. I don’t say this to make you feel guilty if you have a slower-paced lifestyle. I wish I could have sometimes, but all humans require different lifestyles. My busyness might be your version of a nightmare, and your relaxed pace might scare me a bit. The important thing for us to understand is that we have so much to learn from each other in our different routines. What I have learned more than anything in the past few weeks is that being intentional with your time is more important than anything else related to your daily life schedule. Regardless if your day is packed from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed or if you have no plans other than getting out of bed, intentional planning is essential. As for my relationship with God, I could lie and say I journal every day, read my Bible for thirty minutes before I go to sleep every night, and count all of my blessings right when I wake up, but that is just not true. Most days, all I do intentionally is read my two daily devotions. The lack of time I spend with God is not my most proud characteristic, but I’ve learned that Jesus doesn’t want a specific time out of every day. He just wants my heart all of the time. I am still working on this. Trust me, it is so hard not to beat myself up over not feeling good enough and not giving enough time to Him. In active attempt to be intentional with my time, I have started creating set days out of the week where I set my heart on Jesus for the rest of the week. It typically involves a huge mug of coffee, a Lauren Diagle album, and my journal at Espressos, my favorite coffee place, about two mornings out of the week. It is the most precious time to me as I love getting to focus on myself and my own relationship with Jesus. I don’t have to pour out to others then or worry about pleasing anyone else. I simply write out what’s on my heart and read a good book about any thing I feel adds valuable knowledge to my life. It’s simple and very minimal, but I truly look forward to those times. Ask any of my friends, and they will tell you that my time cozied up there is close to something sacred for me. I think a lot of people, including myself, forget that it’s okay to be selfishly-inclined at times. It’s okay to take time for yourself; in fact, it’s necessary to take time for God. My need for intentionality in building my relationship with Jesus in those times reflects how I am in most other areas of my life. Just like I have to consciously create time to dwell with Jesus, I have to consciously take time to rest. I love to go, go, go; I thrive off productivity. That’s okay because it’s how I work, but I have to daily remind myself to take it one day at a time. I have to allow myself breathing room or else I feel overwhelmed. The beauty in busyness if that moments of rest are extra sweet. So, today, I am practicing relaxing by sitting down and writing this instead of going out and finding something to do. Being busy doesn’t make us extra special or important. It is hard for me to write that because I too often find my identity in my ability to work and produce. My screensaver of my phone says, “Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you to say yes to something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.” My goal moving forward is to make sure I am being very conscious of where I choose to spend my time, less on doing things that don’t benefit myself and others and more on what makes me and others around me happy. Life is too short not to be intentional with how we spend it. The last thing I would want for myself or others is to be regretful of wasted opportunities later in life because we neglected to purpose our time in the right way according to God’s will for our life.
With love,
C