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Control – Confused

May 12, 2017

The entire world craves something to fill the void that’s inside us all; I would say this void is typically filled with a desire for control, money, or popularity. For today, I am going to focus on the desire for control and how it is always, secretly taking over our lives, preventing us from experiencing a fuller, bolder, backwards efil. Control is “the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.” This lust for control overflows into all areas of life, causing us to try to manipulate our lives to protect ourselves in the best way we know how. We hate the unknown, the unforeseeable future. Why? Why are we filled with such dread of what we can’t control? It’s because we are too afraid of getting hurt, yet we always end up experiencing pain because that’s just a part of life. Despite our emotional “injuries,” we try to cover up our hurt and pain with the mentality of “I’m fine, it’s fine, everything’s just fine,” which prevents the actual chance of us ever being better than fine! We think it’s not okay to be weak, lost, or hurt, so we put a smile on our face, showing a fake persona to everyone around us. There are three major things severely wrong with this:
1. By doing so, it’s like trying to cover a deep cut with a teeny, tiny band-aid. Our mental health is put on the back burner, behind our priority of looking like we have it all under control. Really, our mental health should come first above any other person’s views of us.
2. We create a false community around us when we hide our inner, true feelings. People begin to talk to the “perfect, controlled” version of us and not our raw, real personality. It’s not our peers’ fault that they can’t support us in our pain. To be brutally honest, it’s ours. We have mentally secluded ourselves by thinking that our problems aren’t worth anyone else’s time, but they are! God calls us to share and open ourselves to one another constantly in our communities to experience true self-acceptance and vulnerability. My dad always says to lead a healthy lifestyle, accountability in and around a community is among the top three most important things in life.
3. Lastly, it is not okay to deny ourselves and lie to others about our feelings because by doing so, we alienate ourselves from God, His love, and His protection. The title “control-confused” is relatable to all of us, especially me. It exemplifies human nature’s quick reaction to find control anywhere and everywhere other than God. It often takes us way too long to find God and His ability to fill our emptiness. I constantly find myself grasping for any tangible thing I can control, that I think I can rely on. A craving for control over one’s life leads to dark places like substance abuse, depression, self-harm, and so many other things that are so sad to accept, yet all of them and more are a constant battle for millions of people around the world. Although when I look to the root of my problem, the world’s problem, I find that it’s not that these earthly things that we try to control really hold great power and meaning; they just give a simple and quick fill to our empty void inside. If we really take a step back and out of our worldly mentality, we would realize life is so beyond anything that control can be found in in this world. If I’m being transparent, I was led to write this blog because giving up control to God has been something that I’ve really been praying over. Ultimately, I strive towards giving up control over all areas in my life including my decisions, words, self-image, and relationships, yet it’s much easier to talk and pray about doing so opposed to actually making the choice to give control to God daily. Specifically, it’s the thought of giving up control that scares me. I am too self-reliant and sometimes too prideful to accept that I am just as broken and in need of God’s care as anyone. In my life, I can physically carry out my daily tasks without relying on God and others, yet mentally and spiritually, being so dependent upon myself is so draining. There is greater control, greater purpose given by the Lord. When we stop unintentionally fighting God for what little control we can obtain and instead submit to His will, His way, our lives would look far different. I’m talking a crazy, backwards kind of life, a life free of emptiness and dread of the unknown. It will be hard; it takes a daily reminder, a conscious choice to turn over complete control to God. Although if we act upon this choice, we can experience true freedom from our chains to the world and true satisfaction in knowing that God has got it all under control.

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